“Mom, Why Don’t Those Jeans Fit Over Your Butt?”

Yes, those words came out of one of my daughter’s mouth today. If nothing else, that question should serve as an eternal reminder to me that I should always shop for jeans alone. And bathing suits. And bras.

It’s the last day of Spring Break and I thought I deserved a reward, so I packed them all up in the car for a trip to Nordstrom Rack. I figured I could do some shopping of my own after we did some retail therapy for them first. I thought wrong. I really don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve been a mom for eight years. I should know better.

After we  picked out some mighty cute clothes and flip-flops for the girls, we made our way to the size 6.5 shoe row. Once there, they proceeded to pick out the most heinous shoes for me, as well as hurl the discarded ones to the floor.  My apologies to the Nordstrom Rack staff. I did manage to find a pair of shoes, and then steered the girls to women’s jeans.

Every woman knows shopping for jeans is no easy task. Now, imagine trying to do it with three kids sitting, staring, and judging as you try to wiggle your way into pair, after pair, after pair, and that job becomes infinitely more difficult and downright depressing. I grabbed about six pair of jeans, along with three very opinionated girls into the dressing room with me. While I’m happy they don’t have any problem expressing themselves, I’d love for them to shut their traps while I’m half-naked in a dressing room with no sound walls.

Here are some other memorable quotes from them:

“Mom, your skin is bulging through those skinny jeans.”

“Are they supposed to look like that on you?”

“I see your underwear.”

“Please, please, please, let these jeans fit so we can leave.”

Alas, none of the jeans worked out and I left the dressing room trying not to look the sales people in the eye. I pray I never have to bring the girls along with me again while shopping for jeans, but if I do, I’ll remind them that I carried each of them in my body for nine months, and that’s why those jeans don’t fit over my butt.

5 thoughts on ““Mom, Why Don’t Those Jeans Fit Over Your Butt?”

  1. Wow, I knew how kids can be a hassle while shopping, but never would I thought that they were capable of such language! Next time, shoot me up if you need a sitter.

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