The Great P90X Test

If you’ve channel surfed in the middle of the night within the last five years, you’ve no doubt seen the P90X infomercial. It’s the one with insanely fit people sporting six-pack abs doing an unimaginable number of pull ups like it’s no big deal. Yeah, that one. It also promises to transform your flabby body to a ripped muscle machine in 90 days. I’m not one to usually buy into infomercials, but some friends of ours did it, and they really did get amazing results. Amazing enough for me to spend a few hours bidding on eBay for a good deal on the workout. Hey, I may be motivated, but I’m also cheap, and the 12 DVD set is expensive!

I should also note I’m not the only one in the household to be doing this workout. Van’s doing it too, and the first thing he said to me after I finally got a winning bid on eBay was, “You’re not going to blog about this are you?” If he had to ask, he already knew the answer.

P90X got delivered to our house exactly one week ago,

so I thought this would be a good time to update our progress. We decided to follow the program as directed, and the first order was to take before photos of ourselves. I may be crazy enough to post photos of my wrinkled face  and huge frizzy hair, but there’s no way anyone other than Van will ever see pictures of me letting it all hang out in a sports bra and shorts. I will say it’s good motivation to get rid of the unwanted fat and weight hanging on my abs and legs.

The workouts are intense. The first day was the chest and back DVD, plus the ab ripper DVD. That entails doing countless pull-ups, push-ups, and sit-ups. Now I can’t even do one pull-up, so I have to use a stool to cheat (which is allowed). Van did much better on the pull-ups, but we were both hurting by the end of the sit-ups. Two days later it hurt to laugh, and I could barely lift my arms.

Day two was plyometrics, which is basically jumping around for an hour. I actually kind of liked this one. At least it was better than working out muscles I didn’t even know existed.

Day three was spent on arms and shoulders, plus yet more abs. This was a really hard day ’cause I was still sore from Monday. I’ve also realized the more sore you are, the more annoying the dude leading the program is. I spent much of Wednesday night yelling obscenities at Tony Horton.

I was actually looking forward to day four which was 90 minutes of yoga. I thought I might get a bit of a break, but nope, it was just as hard as the other workouts. I am determined to master the shoulder stand by the end of 90 days, even if it kills me, which it may.

Friday was legs and back, and three days later my hamstrings are still tight. Plus, working your back also means doing more pull-ups. I hate pull-ups, oh and I almost forgot, more abs. Yes, I shouted more obscenities at the TV on Friday.

Saturday was something called Kenpo X. It’s basically an updated version of Billy Blanks Tae Bo. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? On this day, Van and I had a special guest join us.  We’ve been doing the workouts after we put the kids to bed, and just about every night Erin would get out of bed and ask to exercise with us. We promised she could do it on the weekend and she held us to it. She may only be five, but that kid has a pretty good kick! She also likes to give color commentary during the workout which sounds cute, but really isn’t when you’re struggling to keep up with the workout.

Sunday is the day of rest, so that entailed stretching for an hour. Stretching has never felt SO good!

The program also comes with a nutrition guide, which is basically a high protein, low carb, low-fat diet. Van and I have been sticking to it for the most part. We bought egg beaters in bulk, and have been eating egg white omelets while the kids stuff their faces with waffles. We’ve also been meticulously measuring out our portions, which is no fun at all. When it comes to dieting, Van’s more disciplined than I am. He can turn down desserts. Me, I don’t like to see chocolate covered strawberries and rice krispy treats go to waste. However, instead of eating oh a dozen chocolate covered strawberries and countless rice krispy treats, I only indulged in two strawberries and one rice krispy treat. Hey, a sugar loving girl can only give up so much!

So after a week of working out and cutting calories, we weighed ourselves this morning. Van lost four pounds! Me 0.4 pound! Yep, not even an entire stinking pound! I know, I know, men typically lose more than women, it’s not about your weight, it’s about how you feel, and how your clothes fit, blah blah blah. Here’s how I feel. I’m pissed. I’ve worked hard, and I should have lost more than a lousy 0.4 pound! Now I see why you have to take the before pictures. That image is seared into your brain so you don’t give up and chuck the DVDs into the trash when you lose 0.4 pound.

I doubt I’ll be giving weekly updates on my P90X test, but I do plan to do it occasionally, especially when I lose more than a half an effing pound. Wish me luck!

3 thoughts on “The Great P90X Test

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